old blog archiving
hi bearblog (★ω★)/! glad to be using you for my blog/journal/etc. service now. i was tired of using an html editor every time i wanted to share something new. as of right now i'm just going to be archiving the (few) posts i made on my html blog over here so i can look back at them as i begin moving everything over to bearblog!
october 30
halloween tomorrow!! i have the 1st of november off so it feels like i should do something; especially since we got a TON of snow so my halloweekend plans went poof like a cloud of smoke. some friends and i are planning to watch a scary movie but maybe i'll go out, i dunno. strange to think we only have two months left in the year.
the tekuteku angel has been fun to mess with, although quite simple in style. i like hooking it on the top of my pants, it really scratches something in that 90s-00s tech part of my brain. i like that it is sort of a glorified pedometer, so i don't have to constantly fiddle with it. getting my steps every day is kind of hard because i WFH, and while i go for walks and hikes and am decently active at least a little bit each day, it doesn't amount to the 9000 a day the tekuteku angel wants from me. and i thought i had set it to 3000...luckily, it's a very forgiving vpet, so any day i miss on the steps i only lose half a heart, and gain back a full heart.
been thinking more on my content consumption as of late, at least as far as "killing time" goes. everyone says the same 5 things in video essays these days and they're all really boring to watch. i liked to watch videos on journalling and stuff but nowadays it really feels like all that community does is talk about their 5 new hobonichi planners and how they're using them and then the next video is "this isn't working for me...why i switched to the jibun techo" and then suddenly "why i bought traveler's company notebooks" like. it just feels like a consumption problem glorified as system-making. i have no interest in that. it's boring. which means i have to find new ways to actually fill my time during my work day, since again, i'm WFH. i have been trying to read in between my job because i do a lot of support stuff, which means my schedule sort of depends on when/if people need my help, but it's annoying to be in the middle of a paragraph and then have to call someone or draft up an email. for a while i was just listening to the sherlock holmes audiobooks since they're free and easily found on spotify, and i'm starting to do that again, but i'm not super great at just sitting and listening to a podcast or audiobook. i need to be doing something menial. when i had a data entry internship i blasted through all of wolf-359 that way, and during my figure drawing classes i listened to some other audio dramas, but now i don't do anything like that.
it doesn't mean i'm gonna give up on sherlock holmes though since i've read quite a few of his stories so i don't really have to give it too much attention--it's just strange to feel like i just loaded up an episode and then the chapter is suddenly done and i barely absorbed any of it. but it also feels certainly nicer to do than open up youtube to the same 50 videos on "womanhood in horror" (which is an entry for another day) and all these content creators pretending they have anything unique to say about it. yawn!!!
october 17
it really finally is beginning to feel like fall here. i live in a state where we get all the seasons year-round and it's been clinging to 70 degree temps in the middle of the day but the mornings are finally starting to be nice and cool and the evenings are pretty chilly now. our summer was pretty weird so i'm not as relieved about the weather changing as i am normally, but it's still pretty nice to get my little fall drinks and see the halloween deco start popping up!
i've been working through a reread of umineko officially; i wanted to finish rereading ep1 on oct 4 and 5 in honor of those being the days of the rokkenjima massacre but i ended up being busier than i expected so i finished it on the 12th. but since then i finally made my friends start it and sat on call with them for the beginning of ep1 since it can be quite slow and we ended up going through the whole thing together and it was really fun to hear all of their theories and "what the fuck is going on"isms. i know everything already so it puts me in the role of beatrice. my bf played umineko last year and i got to do that with him and make up red truths to try to help him figure it out--it's sort of funny, when you're going through the story without knowing anything, the red truths feel like 'fuck yous' designed to splinter your carefully crafted theories into a million points so you'll accept the witch, but really they are massive hints to what is going on, and actually little helpful pieces of information that have been lovingly selected because the GM (me in this case) wants you to succeed. and this all just cements umineko's message. i love it soooo much it's really fun to see the beginning parts of the story again, and even more fun to see my friends freak out over it.
one of our local arcades recently got a ton of new machines so i went there with a friend over the weekend to DDR and was glad to see that the DDR machine was one of the new ones, so now i can play online and not have to go all the way to round1 just to complain about there being no groove coaster! this place is much closer for me so i'm really glad about it.
my friend and i recently had the wonderful opportunity to see swan lake downtown and it was really incredible. i used to do ballet as a kid and i really wanted to stick with it but then i got into art and drawing digitally and stuff so spending my time on iscribble and dA took the forefront. so it was really nice to be able to see a professional performance of swan lake and think back to my time on it since i used to dream of playing odette--but then again, what kid who did ballet didn't dream of that? lol
i ordered a tekuteku angel VPet recently and i'm still waiting on it to come. i kind of want to get more into virtual pets but i only had a pokewalker (since lost) growing up and i really liked the low maintenance aspect of it. i know your pet can die in the tekuteku angel but i wanted something to mimic the pedometer effect. if it goes well/i'm not super stressed by it, i might pick up a tamagotchi keitai eventually since those are supposed to be quite nice and the unis are pretty expensive. everyone says to avoid the vintage tamagotchi market because of collectables and stuff but at least from the vendor whom i bought my tekuteku angel from their prices are insanely reasonable. of course, they are coming from europe, but even then the shipping is only 4 euro so i'd rather pay 60 or something. i'm gonna wait to see if i stick with the tekuteku angel though first.
all that aside, october has been really busy for me and i haven't had a chance to plan out any halloween stuff. one of my friends tends to do a house party so i might do that if that is a thing this year, but otherwise i have no idea what i'm gonna do. i guess go to the arcade in cosplay? that's always a safe bet and i finally have my heather mason cosplay finished so that'd definitely be appropriate. all i know for sure is that i'm glad it's fall!!
october 3
i can't believe 2023 is almost done O_O. i have a kind of busy month ahead, lots of concerts and other fun stuff like that coming up, so i'm looking forward to it! and tomorrow marks this year's umineko day, it's fun to see the art people put out for it then. i have a few things i might post.
since i finished pathologic classic i've been playing pathologic 2; it's a bit hard for me to make a call on it since i'm only on day 4, but while i do probably prefer 2's gameplay and vibe to classic, as well as how upfront it is about the meta aspect of the game, it's frustrating they made all these other changes that i really am not a fan of from classic, namely the details with lara now being an artemy love interest, whatever they did to eva, rubin's callousness and isidor-daddy issues, and daniil's increasing level of dickishness. so those changes are a little frustrating, even if they fit the themes of 2 pretty well. i'm glad i played classic first ultimately because being able to directly compare the changes is interesting and i feel like you can't really say you "get" pathologic without playing both classic and 2 since 2 is not a reboot nor a reimagining nor a sequel, it's a new production of the "play" put on by the actors (game devs) for us.
the past few days i've been thinking a lot about my creative writing/journalling process. i am more of a memory keeper now, or have been since i got my hobonichi cousin. my short term memory is sort of whatever and i'm bad at appreciating days as they come, so it's nice to see the little things i did each day that i felt were worthy enough to write down. but it never really feels like i'm "off-loading" something so to speak. i write down if i went to a certain cafe to get coffee and if i read a book and what i think about the book, etc. but as far as emotional processing or brevity goes, i kinda suck at that. normally i'm ok with this; i draw, i write, i listen to music, etc. but it can be frustrating feeling like my emotions are still kinda...congealed together with no way of parsing through them. so i've been trying new approaches at undoing that via stream of consciousness writing. i'm not sure how much it'll help me feel like i'm a "journaller" now or whatever because whatever i'm writing down tends to be insane strings of words that have nothing in common, but some of them flow nicely together anyways and can be fun to read, and i guess there's a benefit that if anyone does snoop on that notebook i'll seem like a kid from a horror movie or something dumping nonsense into books lmfaooooo. we'll see how it goes or if it's worth keeping up. i have so many small notebooks to use up. anyways, i guess that's it for my update this time.
september 22
september ended up much more chill than i expected but luckily not too boring. i got to see beetlejuice this month, and that was an absolute blast. i really miss theatre. i haven't been able to do it since high school, and i miss going to plays, learning lines, learning blocking, etc.. it was also really nice to just be in a room with a live event. the audience for the show was SO good, too. everyone was really having a blast. it was a very special time.
job hunting is still on the fritz, which i'm not gonna lie is quite disappointing, but ugh. i'm so ready to move to something new job-wise and i can really tell my career is essentially dead in the water at my current job. no one respects the work i do or keeps me in the loop and i'm really over it but i'm still not in a position where i can just afford to quit.
for media, i finally got through pathologic classic hd so i started 2 and that's been really fun. i also started and finished princess tutu. who knew that pathologic, a bleak russian video game about healers trying to save a town from a plague, and princess tutu, a mahou shoujo about a duck who turns into a princess to do ballet would have so much in common? but they really do. what a special show. i knew i'd like it but i'm so glad i finally got to watch it and confirm that for myself.
it's crazy to think about how the year is almost over. and summer has been on its last legs here for a bit. i'm eager for new weather but since i live in the city i will miss being able to stay out later into the night without being a little uneasy about it. not that i'm in an unsafe city or anything it's just that it's not new york so people aren't really out at night unless it's friday and saturday. that sort of thing.
been in a music rut as of late. it's been all dark ambient or nothing. my spotify wrapped is gonna be so weird since i had a long phase where pretty much all i listened to was just radiohead.
i'm debating maybe moving this over to sunny apples since i still haven't felt much up for working on my sites and i dunno if i want to pay the $5 fee per month to keep this site up when it functions just as well as a subsection on my main site...but i'd like to keep funding neocities too since i can't stand most social media. argh. i'll think about it. money is money and all that.
september 8
september has had a busy start! i had an anime convention early in the month and got to link up with some friends i only see once or twice a year for that. it was a lot of fun hanging out and shooting the shit, and as always cosplay remains my most expensive hobby, but i thoroughly enjoyed that too. it always gets me excited to start planning cosplays for future cons. our next one will be in march, and i really want to pull together beatrice the golden witch's ep2 outfit in time for that. i already have a skirt, i just need to take it in. it's also a costume i don't feel super bad about spending money on quality pieces for, since i am a 20 something year old and will eventually need a nice blazer that fits me well--and i am so petite that a cropped one will look just fine on me. i'd rather find something that fits me well and looks nice rather than fork over the money for the polyester costume.
convention aside, the month has since fallen back more into normalcy. obviously i have not been doing much keeping up with sunny apples. i'd really like to make a sonic shrine soon, but html/css has begun to feel overwhelming again LOL. hopefully i can find my stride with it again; i'm sure i'll end up fixating on it out of nowhere in a few months and go crazy with it. i'm such a beginner it can feel a little daunting beginning to think about reworking pages and stuff in the future too. yes my code is spaghetti code, but spaghetti is yummy, sooo...
the round1 by me got rid of my beloved groove coaster :( so as of late i've made the swing into trying to really improve at DDR. i'm at a pretty comfortable level where i feel like i can impress people who don't play the game but i'm by no means an expert; but personally i have more fun actually 'moving' across the panels rather than staying in one place going crazy with my footwork. of course, i'd like to be able to bridge the gap into expert territory sometime, and i could see myself eventually really enjoying doubles play, but it'll be a while before i can do that. presently i'm trying to pick up a new softpad for play at home since i don't need something like an LTEK yet, but there's a rhythm game arcade about 45 min south from me that i'd like to try hitting up more often if possible...even though it is quite a trek. but it's a local arcade that is catered specifically to rhythm games and a lot of people in this rhythm game discord server for my state seem to frequent there. to be honest i'm not sure if i'll end up befriending a ton of people in this hobby considering "rhythm game bro" seems kind of like a similar but more annoying cousin to the "gamer bro" and i already had to deal with enough that when i gave a shit about overwatch. lol
that aside, the month has started strong. i do a lot of my journalling irl so i'm trying not to forget about this one, especially since i'm giving neocities $5 a month to keep this site up alongside sunny apples. hopefully html/css stops being daunting and i can get back in the swing of it o7
august 8
what a busy weekend. yesterday i didn't feel up to much so i worked on the chores i wasn't able to do at all over the weekend; got a lot done, which always feels good. this week i'm hoping to add the sonic page to sunny apples. every time i take a little bit of a break from coding i feel like i forget how to do anything. like i have a very simple flexbox set-up here on this blog which is how i got stuff to float next to the killua sidebar image i've got, and i've already forgotten how i did that lmaoooo. on my about on sunny apples i got it working with float:left shenanigans, but i know it's much easier to do with flexbox. if i can just....well, remember. auugh sdjfhdsjkhf
one of the benefits from my busy weekend is that i got to take an old DDR softpad we had lying around from the house. we used it maybe once or twice when i was a kid with the xbox version of DDR, but me and my sister were so small we couldn't really get it working. now that i'm an adult who lives in an apartment (and no one living underneath me thank god!) i'm sure i'll have more luck with it. if the years of storage being folded up didn't totally destroy the sensors. i have an xbox adapter coming in tomorrow...fingers crossed it works out.
been reading if we were villains finally--i'm almost done with it in only a few days. feels nice to power thru a book like that. there's a lot of stuff i take issue with in the book but i really like it anyways, for better or for worse. damn you dark academia tiktok comps on youtube (i don't actually have a tiktok account) you got me with this one...
august 2
feels like every week when things start to be calm i end up with a million things, both fun and not-fun, on my plate! it's a little nice and rewarding to have things to actually do for once, especially after i spent 2020-this year mostly sitting around being bored and trying to kill time, but at the same time i'm really missing my downtime. i think some of it is also that i'm mega-burntout work-wise, and the job hunt has been 3 months of on-again off-again searching with probably like 20 resumes sent out and still nothing. i'm pretty fed up with my current job as is. keep thinking about how it might be fun to get into bartending, but unfortunately i live in an area where it's pretty hard to live on your own and make rent and do something like that without working obscene hours.
i've been playing ffxiv with my friends again which has been fun especially since i was super burnt out on it for a few months. it's a relief to know i still enjoy playing the game. although with the release of dawntrail's trailer my expectations for the story moving forward are pretty much on the ground, it's fun farming for glam items and running rouls with my friends and giggling at people. randos keep dropping AOEs on me? i don't know why this is a consistent theme, but they keep running for me and killing me with them.
july 24
this is just a test entry, maybe i'll edit this later :peaceemoji:
ok, got a little more free time so i'll just sort of use this as an excuse to test things out. i'm not sure if i want the whole page to be scrollable or if i want it to be scrollable divs...i guess i can always change it? but i definitely want this site to be more minimalist in vibe. a lot of neocities sites are just shrouded in blinkies and gifs and general eyestrain territory and while i can definitely see the appeal (i mean i have stamp heaven on sunny apples after all) i think for the purposes of logging my thoughts some simple to read html is the best i can do for that.
i guess it's a little ironic to make a page for july since july is almost over, but i guess starting this site at the tail end of a month is good since july can just be my test month.
next thing i should probably figure out is how i want pictures to look in here. i probably won't put many images here (emphasis on the minimalism picture thing etc etc) but it'll be better to figure it out now so i can make everything feel sort of cohesive.